From: TED.BRENGLE@spock.org (TED BRENGLE) Newsgroups: rec.arts.startrek.reviews,rec.arts.startrek.current Subject: TNG Series Review: IMHO End-of-TNG Blowout (1 of 3) Followup-To: rec.arts.startrek.current Date: Thu, 30 Jun 1994 14:01:14 -0400 Organization: Cornell University Lines: 353 ***The IMHO End-Of-TNG Blowout*** In the beginning, I was never one of the doomsayers. Honest. You know the people I'm talking about. The people who screamed at the top of their lungs when TNG was first announced that no Trek could ever fly without Spock and Kirk and velour. Maybe you knew some of them. Maybe you were one of them. But I was not. Indeed, The Next Generation always seemed to me to be a logical progression. I even thought that's what they were setting-up with the introduction of Saavik and David in Star Trek II (Being *really* wrong keeps me humble). To me, the only foolish element of this new series was its placement a century in the future, for I knew that no matter how much TPTB denied it in the beginning, they would all eventually want to do cross-overs and that this would certainly gum-up the works. In fact I was such a swinging Trek-liberal, I didn't even think that the new ship needed to be called Enterprise, as the Trek legacy is clear enough regardless of the name on the factory sticker. And so I viewed "Encounter At Farpoint" seven years ago, and having never known the thrill of first-run Trek on television before, I loved it. Oh, sure looking back it was both stagy and cheesy, but it was Trek on television, and even then I knew that whatever weird magic that Trek possesses had been successfully passed on to its progeny. I was certain that this would silence the critics. The next day I saw my best friend. He can be best described as a casual fan of Star Trek. He'd been excited about TNG, and I was curious what he had thought of it. "God, that was awful. That plot might have worked in the sixties. Maybe. And it was so stupid when they separated the ship! I'm never watching that again." This is an opinion that has remained pretty much unchanged for seven years. Because of this, I have always thought that it is eminently proper that his fiancee *adores* The Next Generation and makes it a point never to miss an episode. And some people say Q isn't God... ********** Welcome to this final celebration of TNG, here at the IMHO Factory (more cavernous than the "Nostromo" from ALIEN and considerably more sinister). Pull up a chair and reminisce. It's been a long, and sometimes arduous, seven year stint, but now that it's over, and the sadness (or elation, depending on your personal level of contempt for the seventh season) has passed, it's time to take stock of what it all meant (if anything). This is also one last, long night before I erase all of my TNG taglines. A night for nostalgia, for savoring TNG's successes, and getting one last whack in at the embarrassing failures. But most of all, it's a wrap party. So let loose. The Klingons are in the mosh pit, we've got fried tribbles simmering on the hibachi, there's the "Dunk-A-Worf" booth, and the band is starting up the TNG Rag to accompany our seven-year grand tour. Grab your partner. ********** ***YEAR ONE: "Humble Beginnings"*** And they were. The first season of any series is a flailing affair, and TNG was no different. In many ways, the most entertaining element of the first year is to look back at the episodes and make a list of all the elements that were quickly abandoned: Ferengi as cannibals, Ferengi as villains, Troi's skirt, Troi's bun, Troi's accent, Troi's empathic powers (steadily downplayed for the rest of the series), Tasha Yar... But TNG also thoroughly demonstrated its connection to the Trek legacy with "The Naked Now", and rifts on such TOS chestnuts as "The evil twin" ("Datalore"), "Absolute power corrupts absolutely" ("Hide and Q"), while also finding the time to further the grand tradition of Roddenberry's smirking sexuality ("Justice") and S&M ("Hide and Q") in Trek. Not a particularly wonderful year, but good-will was fostered, and interest sparked by a few notable gems like "Heart of Glory." Other notes of interest: It only took seven episodes before the Enterprise experienced the first of many complete system failures due to alien intervention or malfunction ("Lonely Among Us"), and eleven before the holodeck first went goofy ("The Big Goodbye"). And "Angel One" is a very important episode in TNG's development (and I hear you asking, "How in the Hell can *"Angel One"* be important?!"). Simple. It was the first episode to clearly utilize the A/B story-arc, one of the most destructive storytelling devices Modern Trek ever devised. ***YEAR TWO: "All Dressed Up With No Place To Go"*** This year of Trek malaise was best embodied by the ship's new doctor: A dull, crabby concoction that was constructed solely out of old lines of McCoy dialog dropped from TOS scripts. The watchword for this season was "boredom." This was a year where the episodes, if you were really lucky, had one act written, and that was all. This was when the patented TNG Non-Ending was honed to a mono-monocular sharpness. Episodes didn't so much anti-climax, as run out of film. Shows would come on, introduce a interesting concept or two, murmur lackadaisically for awhile, evolve formlessly, start to grate on you nerves, and then fade out, studiously avoiding anything that might be even accidentally construed as a resolution, all this making second season TNG seem like the TV drama version of the Ligeti mood-music that Kubrick used for the Monolith in 2001. TrekAngst (pat. pending) also made glorious gains in its evolution this year with such flotsam as "The Icarus Factor" and "The Child". But the biggest stench was that of missed opportunities and bad planing. On the plus side, the Borg snuck in through the back door this season, and TNG scored a surprise coup with "The Measure of a Man", springing one of the series' best episodes in the middle of all the garbage. Also solid adventures like "Peek Performance," "A Matter Of Honor," and "The Emissary" kept hope alive. But when TNG ended the season with "Shades of Gray" (technically the single worst hour of Trek, any series, any generation, ever produced) the fans who weren't sacrificing goats had to be wondering if anything would pull TNG out of its nose-dive ***YEAR THREE: "The Golden Age"*** Roddenberry begins his slow descent into full-fledged figurehead mode, Paramount Company-Man Rick Berman takes over, and former CBS censor Michael Piller is put in charge of the scripts. The result: The best season in TNG history. Go figure. After a shaky start with "Evolution", which although dull was still leagues better than most of season two, the series commenced a home-run derby that TNG (sadly) never could fully recreate. Credit goes to Piller for revitalizing and diversifying the script pool, serving stories week after week that switched seamlessly between straight science fiction ("Tin Man"), comedy ("Deja Q"), morality play ("The Most Toys"), drama ("Sarek"), and nail-biting suspense ("The Best of Both Worlds"). Of the entire season, there is only one episode that I actively dislike ("Captain's Holiday"). Fan and writer Ron Moore first joined the series this season with the admittedly sappy, but underrated, "The Bonding" and quickly made a reputation as one of TNG's premier writers with such episode's as "The Defector" and "Sins of the Father". Rene Echeverria also made an impressive debut, penning "The Offspring", although his legacy as a Great TNG Writer would prove more elusive, and Frakes silenced scoffers who rolled their eyes at another actor who wanted to expand his horizons, by proving that it is indeed the first officers in the Trek franchise that posses the directoral skills. Look back at these episodes and you can't help but be impressed by the energy that enlivened the writing, music, and performances. Energy so powerful that it could only have been born by the desperation to get out of the hole dug by season two. At any rate, this was the season when TNG came of its own and finally started to consistently do its linage proud. That this season closes on what is arguably the series' masterpiece is especially fitting. ***YEAR FOUR: "The Silver Age"*** This season started with the thunderous bang of "The Best Of Both Worlds II", and then demonstrated how much the show had matured by following up these fireworks with a reasoned, logical, and very quiet epilogue that acknowledged the emotional toil of such adventures on human beings in "Family." This season maintained the strong batting average of the preceding year up until the final episode before the first batch of re-runs. This episode was the dopey "Final Mission", penned by a new face to TNG's witting officer, Jeri Taylor, and sent the series into repeats with a disturbing cautionary tale of what might follow. The news ultimately was not nearly as bad as this signal indicated, but the consistency of the series suddenly ended. Indeed, after this the show became nauseatingly unpredictable, with complete triumphs like "Data's Day" and "First Contact" coming within weeks of legendary depth-charges like "Q-Pid" and "The Loss." Whiplash became a problem with some fans, but, all in all, the season average, while down from the preceding year, was still quite healthy. Other Notes: Brannon Braga makes his first appearance as a TNG scenarist by teaming with Ron Moore for the excellent "Reunion." His first solo effort, though, is the considerably less than underwhelming "Identity Crisis." Moore, for his part, wrote his first bad episode toward the end of this season ("In Theory"). The Cardassians are first introduced in "The Wounding", but you'd have to be using a Ouija Board to be able to predict that this race would ever be in any way interesting considering the stock thugs featured in this Jeri Taylor mishmash. Speaking of DS9, writer Peter Allan Fields joins the Trek universe with "Half A Life", an episode that tries valiantly to give Troi's mom depth. Shockingly, it doesn't work. What were the odds...? ***YEAR FIVE: "Trouble In Paradise"*** The season opener quickly gets "off-message", loses sight of the real story (the Klingons), and gets hopelessly lost chasing its own tail over Sela, effectively setting the scene for the fifth season. Even more scatter-shot than the previous year, the show's quality begins to take a small, but definite, downward turn. The return of Spock (a proposition that is seemingly impossible to ruin) is miraculously bungled in the final innings, and the bad episodes have stopped being bad and are rapidly becoming increasingly unbearable. This is also the season when technobabble starts to become a serious problem. TNG formulas, percolating for years, seem to come to lives of their own, don pirate hats, and start hijacking episodes. The arguable low-point of the season is when TPTB try with all their might to put a bullet in the brain of the Borg, one of the best ideas TNG ever came up with in "I, Borg." Despite this, the series held on and delivered a string of solid episodes that belied that cancer that had taken hold of the creative staff. "Cause And Effect" proves to be Brannon Braga's (and Jonathan Frakes') masterpiece, and TNG even manages to redeem Wesley Crusher is the eyes of fans in "The First Duty" (Vatican Leaders are currently reviewing Ron Moore's petition of sainthood, as this does qualify as a miracle.) Other notes: Jeri Taylor writes her first good episode ("Unification I"), Ron Moore writes his first horrid one ("Disaster"), and Peter Allen Fields singlehandedly demonstrates the dynamic range of Trek writers by going from Goat-To-God ("Cost Of Living," and "The Inner Light.") The Klingon saga, once beloved by fans, begins to be hunted by villagers with torches after Alexander is brought on-board the ship, and Worf takes his first important steps into his new role as resident starship sap. ***YEAR SIX: "The Decline"*** In the midst of debates about exactly how much longer TNG will remain on the air, the series itself elegantly weighs in on the issue by beginning a full-fledged disintegration. The first half of the season is direly lifeless, with only a return visit by Scotty helping to coax any kind of interest either in front of or behind the camera. The problem of technobabble enters its terminal stages and becomes a legitimate crisis, as it is now pretty much spooned in in place of plot or logic. Screenplay desperation is evidenced by TNG's sudden infatuation with the denizens of High Concept Hell, resulting in such things as "The Trek does Romper Room Episode" ("Rascals"), "The Trek Does Whitley Strieber Episode" ("Schisms"), "The Trek does 'Closet Land'" Episode" ("Chain Of Command"), The "Wild West Trek" Episode ("Fistful of Datas", fulfilling the mandate that every science-fiction TV series do at least one really bad western episode), "The Trek does 'Laura'/'The Thing' Two-For-One Ripoff Episode" ("Aquiel"), "The Trek does 'Die Hard' Episode" ("Starship Mine", shoplifting from *two* Alan Rickman movies in one season), and, yes, even though it was excellent, "The Trek Does 'It's A Wonderful Life,' Episode" ("Tapestry"). While the second half of the season improved, with superlative episodes like "Tapestry" and "Ship in a Bottle", and strong second-stringers like "Face of the Enemy," for the first time, things seemed to be on a definite downhill slide, culminating in a feeling that the series was now seriously off-track and the standards in free-fall. Pessimism was so rampant that when "Descent I" aired, many took it as a ominous portent of the last season of TNG, noting that while it was a good stand-alone episode, it appeared to be giving the conclusion only enough rope to hang itself. ***YEAR SEVEN: "The Fall"*** Which brings us to the past season, the weakest in TNG's entire run. Season Two is in shock and is demanding a recount, but it won't get one. Whereas Season Two's episodes were uniformly dull and pointless (to coin a phrase), Season Seven went the extra mile by being dull, pointless, puerile and ridiculous. The result was a season that spent much of the time running in place, while at the same time lurching, seemingly out of control from week to week, veering from character sophistry and shortcuts to plot idiocy, all the while chugging forward with a baseless, brain-dead gung-ho spirit that carried the series right off a cliff. At some times the writers were barely showing up at work and scripts were put together from bits of dialogue scribbled on discarded napkins from the Paramount commissary. It was abundantly clear on many occasions that no one was giving any effort at all beyond using the Trek office's resources to update resumes and secure slots on convention circuits until the year 2045. How else can we explain barely-sticking-to-the-videotape excuses for episodes like "Liaisons" and "Emergence." Scores of episodes passed that elicited only the thought, "This series only has x amount of hours left to it. Why are we wasting time with *this*?" The only real mandate the show appeared to be working under was the edict to Bring Everybody Back For A Sequel and eliminate all loose ends with the elan of Lorena Bobbitt. These comebacks ranged from the successful (Ro in "Preemptive Strike") to the awful (Lore and the Borg in "Descent II") to the cursory (Barclay in "Genesis" and Tomalak in "All Good Things..."). The most damning fact about TNG's continuity priorities this year can be best epitomized in the fact that while DS9 had adventures with classic Klingons and scheduled a return trip to the "Mirror" Universe, TNG caught up with DaiMon Bok. Worst of all, the series conveyed a smug arrogance that clearly transmitted that even the show knew it was just killing time, but couldn't be bothered to care less. Between the series' arrogant cynicism, and non-stop floundering, TNG seemed intent on perfecting a masterful impression synthesizing both the Bush and Clinton administrations. Joy. At least that was creative. The seventh season's other attempts at creativity were not as successful, even though the series did try and do something on occasion. Indeed, the remarkable thing about the season is that at some instances the series showed a willingness to take legitimate chances: Turning Wes into a God... making the Warp Drive destructive to the fabric of space... casting the Prime Directive as a artifact of petty bureaucrats that wipes out whole species... The trouble, though, started after they came up with their high-concepts. Most of the time this is were the creativity stopped. Sometimes the risks they tried to take were crippled by customary Trek Cowardice ("Attached"), but most of the time the writers had absolutely *no idea* of how to make a tricky situation work. The upshot was that a lot of daring episodes came off as *offensive* because they were executed so badly, lacking logic, planing, or fresh perspectives, often lapsing into trite formula and obnoxious moralizing. Risk-taking episodes need a new set of rules, and must have a lite-touch and a innovative design and conception. The Trek writers made the fatal error by thinking they could plug their chancy ideas into the standard Trek Story Armatures, and were puzzled when the ideas were ground up and spit out. Examples include treating the Warp Drive as just another Technobabble Menace, while neglecting the sub-text and societal details that might have made this work, or Picard's and Bev's jaw-dropping reaction to Wes' anointing, which seemed to indicate that having close friends and family turned into nascent Gods was a routine experience for them. This should have had a MAJOR impact, but by cramming the story into the Trek Plot Straight Jacket, we are instead treated to the loony scene were Bev and Picard tell Wes to always remember to drop them a postcard and ware a sweater whenever he visits the Q continuum. The only risk that paid-off this season was Ro's turning traitor, and it worked because it had all the elements these other episodes lacked: Internal logic, a sensible attitude, and a denouement that was integral for both the characters and the story being told, making the situation seem real and not another gimmick trotted out solely on the basis of screenwriter caprice. Also this season, the Trek Technobabble Cancer erupted out of John Hurt's abdomen, grew a head, arms, and legs, and decided to seek its own fortune in the big city. Honest science-fiction all but disappeared this season, making the series safe for lunacy like "Emergence" and "Genesis" among others. In other words, ideas that weren't as much science-fiction as something a Speed Fiend would come up with after sampling LSD in order to gain a new perspective on life. Indeed, to my mind TNG finally completed its transformation from a science-fiction (or more accurately science-fantasy) series to a straight fantasy series, and a not particularly good one, being slightly more predictable, and slightly less interesting than your average episode of "Tales From The Crypt." (Yes that may sound like a low blow, but think about it. Good fantasy fiction is like science-fiction in that it relies on coherent, internally consistent rules and laws, and "Tales From The Crypt" has once in a great, great, great while set these up adequately. TNG, on the other hand, spurs all rules of any kind as the writers are so ridiculously devoid of any sort of discipline. One of the allures of Hard SF is that the writers of it are able to deliver the required fire-works while working within a very rigid framework, making their creativity seem even more inventive. TNG, on the other hand, just looks sloppy, as it flails around in a universe were just about anything can happen as long as Sternbach and Okuda are there to come up with enough syllables ending with the suffix "ionic". Next week, flowers grow out of Data's head, and the Warp Dive accidentally turns a planet into a giant licorice whip (the black, yucky kind)! There is a phrase for a TV series where fantastic events occur with no coherent thought, rhyme, reason, or reasonable rationale: "Twin Peeks.") Another low blow. And before the hate-mail starts, let me quickly add that TNG is, on the whole, better than "Tales From The Crypt" And "Twin Peeks" put together and the sum cubed, but any rational observer has to admit that the seventh season has added very little positive to that whole. Of course there have been good episodes, which speaks to the inherent strength of the series that even in a season this bad, the show was still able to pull it together enough to make "Parallels", "The Pegasus", "Lower Decks," "Preemptive Strike", and "All Good Things...". The scary question, though, and one I hesitate to answer, is if any of the good episodes this season were good enough to warrant the other twenty hours, some of which really beat TNG over the head with a shovel. And thus ended The Next Generation (on TV)... * OLX 2.1 TD * So dull and pointless, you'd swear it was a IMHO review. ========================================================================== Origin: Spock's Adventure! BBS - Computer Shopper's BBS of the Month Cincinnati, OH (513) 779-9717 FidoNet 1:108/175 TrekNet 87/6001:1839 ========================================================================== Xref: sloth rec.arts.startrek.reviews:80 rec.arts.startrek.current:9812 Path: sloth!tesuque.cs.sandia.gov!lynx.unm.edu!umn.edu!zip.eecs.umich.edu!yeshua.marcam.com!news.kei.com!travelers.mail.cornell.edu!newsstand.cit.cornell.edu!NewsWatcher!user From: TED.BRENGLE@spock.org (TED BRENGLE) Newsgroups: rec.arts.startrek.reviews,rec.arts.startrek.current Subject: TNG Series Review: IMHO End-of-TNG Blowout (2 of 3) Followup-To: rec.arts.startrek.current Date: Thu, 30 Jun 1994 16:05:51 -0400 Organization: Cornell University Lines: 373 Sender: mss1@cornell.edu (Verified) Approved: mss1@cornell.edu Message-ID: Reply-To: TED.BRENGLE@spock.org (TED BRENGLE) NNTP-Posting-Host: uncle-mikey.cit.cornell.edu ********** ***The Ubiquitous Lists*** I couldn't get out of here without saying a few words about the greatest, and most dismal, moments of TNG. It's practically required that every fan weigh in with his or her own personalized list of the Ten Best and Worst. The thing is, they are all so damn divergent. Sure, some consensus is possible at the magnetic poles, but outside of that, it is real vague out there. In the spirit of that reality, I will not name "The Ten Best and Worst" episodes of TNG, because it is simply impossible. Even polls crash and burn ("'Relics' in the top five! Voter fraud!" people screech). Instead, these list only my personal picks for most and least enjoyable. In addition, this approach will also allow me to address the fact that some episodes, while technically superior, didn't connect with me as much as did others. On with the show. My Favorite Episodes 10. "Tin Man"- Yes, it is predictable and manipulative, but Harry Groener's performance as Tam Elbrun never fails to move me, and the show has so many good elements from the evocative music, to the stunning visual effects, to one of the most memorable (and realistic) representations of a telepath in Trek history, that I always overlook the fact that the ending is a foregone conclusion. Also one of the rare occurrences where Troi actually worked well within the bounds of the original character. 9. "The Defector"- Ron Moore's proved how good he was with this episode. Another great guest performance, this time by James Sloyan, gives this show its punch, although a very able assist by Andreas Katsulas as Tomalak pushes the whole thing into the stratosphere. The best look at the Romulans since "Balance of Terror." Vivid dialogue, smart plotting, and excellent performances by everybody build the tension, and Picard's ace up his sleeve for getting out of the mess in the Neutral Zone is one of the series' best moment. 8. "Deja Q"- One Q's lightest episodes and one of the most enjoyable. Trek has, generally, much less sure a grasp of comedy than TOS or DS9, but episodes like this one are the few lucky accidents that seem to belie that observations. John de Lancie's best performance as the character, bringing Q down to size, while also somehow making his ego bloat even larger, ground the episode, and is is complimented nicely by a great supporting turn from Spiner. Perhaps the series most fun-for-its-own-sake episode. 7. "Hollow Pursuits"- This episode is notable for something that TNG (and Trek in general) does far too little. Namely, explore logically the necessary ramifications of a radical technology on human behavior and psychology. The exploration here is honest, insightful and very entertaining. Another very funny episode, Dwight Schultz's Barclay is a revelation that sadly is never used nearly as well again, despite numerous attempts, as he singlehandedly makes the 24th century safe for neurotics. Even the transparent A/B story arc works for once, driving home the episode's "fantasy verses reality" theme quite well. 6. "Cause and Effect"- Making a fifteen minute set-piece, repeated four times, not just entertaining but brilliant and cleaver, is nothing sort of a triumph. Exceptionally crisp writing by Brannon Braga and stellar direction by Jonathan Frakes are so good that they are able to make a shattering wine glass seem like the Crack Of Doom. Not to mention the performances by all involved, who bring freshness to the material even on the third and forth go round. One of the series most surefooted dalliances with straight science-fiction, the novelty of the situation is terrifically paid-off by basing the solution, not on a technobabble smoke screen, but on intelligent people utilizing logical thought to use the very dynamics of the problem they are embroiled in to solve it. 5. "Future Imperfect"- A wonderful, mind-bending puzzle-box that gives Frakes and Riker the chance to shine, and which came equipped with that one extra twist that makes a good episode a great episode. Perfectly complimenting the intricate, now-you-see-it-now-you-don't plot are some great characters moments between Riker and the shadows of his illusory future, and his ersatz son. Sequences which are heartbreaking since they clearly show how much potential the character of Riker had, most of which was totally ignored. 4. "Reunion"- Worf could, on the other hand, never be accused of being underexposed. But before he became overexposed, he was the crux of the Klingon Saga, and that was one of the most interesting undertakings TNG ever attempted, chronicling a dark age of the Klingon Empire. "Reunion" is the arguable flash-point, where Worf's personal and political worlds collide, and the seeds for future civil war are planted. K'Ehleyr is killed, Worf becomes a murderer (one of the series boldest character moves), and the accession of Gowron guarantees that the Empire will never be the same. One of the few, but treasured, episodes that gave TNG the look and feel of a Future History Mega-Saga. 3. "The Measure of the Man"- One of Data's best episodes, although not really a Spiner showcase, as his very good work is positively blown away by a barnstorming turn by Stewart. The age-old science-fiction question of what constitutes intelligent, much less a soul, is handled expertly in Melinda Snodgrass' script, and the proud tradition of Trek Courtroom Drama adds another success to its ranks. 2. "Yesterday's Enterprise"- The defining time-travel episode of the next generation is a breathless marvel, packing in more action, character, special-effects whizbang, plot, sub-text, and science-fiction wonder in one hour than most of TNG's two-partes did in a pair of episodes. A complex paradox is introduced circumspectly, as the script gives the audience credit enough to have sufficient smarts to keep up with the twists. Logical enough that the resurrection of Tasha Yar worked, and didn't seem like just a weird gimmick. Wonderfully symmetrical with Guinan's final line being the perfect wrap-up. 1. "The Best of Both Worlds" (I AND II. My list, my rules... I even almost put "Family" in there, too). On November 25th, the greatest cross that STVII:TNG:TMP:G will have to bare will be the existence of these two hours, for they provide the perfect yardstick for the effectiveness of any TNG feature film. This story is quite simply Star Trek at its best, with humor, brilliant character moments, action, and the greatest alien threat, based on a tantalizing science-fiction idea, that Trek has ever came up with. If the film isn't as good as this, people will want to know why. Credit has to go to Michael Piller's remarkable adept screenplay, which keeps all of the myriad balls in the air with perfect grace, the direction by Cliff Bole, and the musical contribution of Ron Jones (whose music is chilling and thrilling at the same time. Many people make the mistake that the wordless choir, which is the signature of the Borg, is human. It is not. The human voices are synthesized, which is even more appropriate. And unsettling.) Elizabeth Dennehy's Shelby is one of the finest female characters ever to come down the pike on Trek (why didn't we see more of her in later seasons?) and Stewart's acting is some of his finest, but then everything about these two episodes is nothing sort of fabulous. Very high up on the list of "The Greatest Star Trek Stories Ever Told." Honorable Mentions: "Who Watches the Watchers", "Sarek", "Ship in a Bottle", "Tapestry", "Unification I", "Sins of the Father" and "Heart of Glory". My Least Favorite Episodes (or "The Dreck") 10. "Cost of Living"- One of the most embarrassing hours of television supposedly sentient beings have ever released into the ether. Mud baths, a nude mommy Troi, Alexander, Deanna in "Quack" mode presiding over one of the most hilariously inept encounter sessions ever filmed, and a completely unrelated Technobabble Danger To The Ship which seems to be on a coffee break throughout most of the episode, make this show a wishlist for the masochist Trekkie. Peter Allen Fields must have been on drugs when he wrote this. I wish I had been when I watched it. 9. "Angel One"- In which a matriarchy is visited and given story treatment that ranks a little bit below what "Battlestar Galactica" would have done with it. Meanwhile back on the Enterprise, a disease is spread by the holodeck and Bev spends the hour taking readings. Oh, and the show ends with one of the worst "Specifying will set you free" set-pieces Trek has ever delivered and pretty much precluded Riker from having to deliver a show-ending speech ever again. 8. "Man of the People"- Ladies and gentlemen, Marina Sirtis worst performance ever! Viewing this episode in a house with a dog will bring the forces of the SPCA and PETA down on your head, as Troi's screaming scenes unleash sonic vibrations that drive dogs to bash their heads into walls in the fervent hope that it will cause unconsciousness. Awful writing, bored-to-ridiculous performances, pacing several degrees slower than a fermenting corpse, no plot, and some particularly hallucinogenic science, make this hour a demonstration of why the epithet of "Troi episode" will be a curse punishable by death sometime in the nest century. 7. "Birthright II"- Klingons have never looked so dull. The sound of thunder as the once interesting Klingon Saga hits the tarmac. Plays as a kind of anti-"Reunion", because everything that episode did so well is trashed in this one. Instead of a grand scale showcase of great acting, intricate political maneuvers, and serious, honest drama, we get a flea circus featuring ridiculous arch performances, a plot that doesn't even register as linear thought, and a mire of TrekAngst (pat. pending) deeper and more perilous than the Sargasso Sea. 6. "Rascals"- A refugee from the pulpier moments of "Lost In Space" somehow found its way onto TNG in the sixth season, with a ludicrous situation that can kill brain cells if watched too closely. Embarrassments like Riker and Worf losing the ship to two antiquated Birds of Prey and five Ferengi, pale next to the "funny" moments, like the Riker/Picard hug scene, the watching of which the Pope has recently ruled a reasonable rationale for suicide. 5. "Haven"- A Troi episode puree that was so bad that her future character development was all but sabotaged, because, for seasons after, TPTB would view Troi episodes as necessary evils that they did with their left hand. Meet: Talking luggage! Troi's mom! Victims of one of the goofiest plagues in science-fiction history (looked terrible didn't it?)! And one of the most uncharacteristic Quickie TrekRomance leads TNG ever thawed out! This clown also set the set the scene for a series of dismally sleazy and uninteresting Troi relationships. 4. "The Royale"- This episode, an obvious bastard child of a "holodeck malfunctions" storyline trapped our heros in fiction settings yet again for, arguably, the most boring and pointless excursion ever. Stupefying by even bad-TNG standards, the only interesting element in this hour was The Home Game, where contestants took turns thinking up convoluted conspiracies explaining why exactly this episode was even made, as it certainly couldn't be because it looked good on paper. 3. "New Ground"- While the collective Klingon race's low point was already mentioned, Worf's personal nadir is several degrees of magnitude worse. This episode helped to quantify Worf as a joke, and was built upon a flawed, cliched, and howlingly inept portrayal of a father-son relationship shipped directly from sitcom land. Its greatest fault was that it didn't even try to bend the formula into anything alien or different (which a Klingon relationship of any kind desperately requires). Extra booby points are awarded for an especially cursory and disassociated Semi-Obligatory Science Fiction Concept (Semi-OSFC)/Technobabble Treat To Our Heros. 2. "Shades of Gray"- One of the most embarrassing hours of television supposedly sentient beings have ever released into the ether. ...pacing several degrees slower than a fermenting corpse, no plot. ...can kill brain cells if watched too closely. ...the most boring and pointless excursion ever. 1. "Imaginary Friend"- Here it is. The very bottom. Why? This remains the only episode of TNG that I have ever *laughed at*. It came when Picard began his surreal episode-closing monologue about how humans raise children. At that moment, I knew I was watching something that rivaled some of the worst moments in Star Trek V and "The Omega Glory." This is what happens when formula takes over completely and not one iota of independent thought is used in the production of a television episode. This show is the best parody of TNG I have ever seen, masterfully combining all its worst elements: Humorless and dull, abysmal ignorance of how science-fiction is supposed to work, every cliche from the advanced glowbug aliens that don't under stand (blank) about humanity, to the Technobabble Danger To Our Heros, to kiddies in peril, ridiculously trite situations... The entire episode plays as high-camp, with Shay Astar as the imaginary friend, Isabella, acting like she is auditioning for a villainess on "Melrose Place", and Stewart earnestly reciting his final speech gibberish as if it were the Gettysburg Address. TNG's saddest moment. Dishonorable Mentions: "Liaisons", "The Child", "Code of Honor", "Disaster", "Pen Pals", "Force of Nature, "The Loss" and "Elementary, Dear Data". ********** Well, now that I've gotten that off my chest and am done heaping abuse, it is time to pay the piper. A lot of people, moi included, have made Berman-Bashing (and to a lesser extent Piller-Bashing), into a popular fan spectator sport. Some people do it because they see Berman as a debaser of "Gene's High Holy Vision" (Registered Trademark-Paramount Pictures Corp.), while I spew vitriol and unfair hyperbole mostly because much of what he has recently done for TNG has been so dismal. But every dog its day, and every man his due. It's time to give Rick Berman some credit. Let's begin by putting all our cards on the table: By the end of the second season of TNG, Eugene Wesley Roddenberry had lost it. Whether it was because of illness, or because he was taking it easy after a long, hard-working life, or because he was a rat-bastard is irrelevant. Pick your favorite theory, as each has their adherents, and ultimately they are each futile, because they all have the same end-point: TNG was widely regarded as not performing up to expectations. At this point, Paramount did what it always did in this situation in the past. They pushed (this time gently, at least) Roddenberry out of the way, and placed their own agent in control of the franchise, just like they had years earlier with the accession of Harve Bennett after the ST:TMP boondoggle. Rick Berman was their man, and I argue that if it hadn't been for him, Star Trek would be dead right now. Not just TNG. Star Trek. The whole damn thing. And I wouldn't be here writing this (Which might have been a good thing, after all... What page is this, anyway?) At any rate, think about it. 1989 was a dark time for the Alliance. The second season of TNG had been universally recognized as a farce, and the summer saw the birth and speedy demise of Star Trek V, which barely broke even. If it hadn't been for Rick Berman and the universally regarded resurgence of TNG in the third season, I shudder to think what would have happened. If Berman hadn't been there, it is *very* possible that the third season would have been on the par of the first and second, and in the franchises weakened condition, that might have been just enough of a reason for Paramount to pull the plug, enabling them to make a bundle off stripping the re-runs before the interest level was any more depressed. And that would have been it. No seven seasons of TNG. No DS9. No Star Trek VI (Which was made over the objections of many at Paramount who thought the old cast moribund. The TOS cast and fans owe their final bow solely to the popularity that TNG brought to Trek. Period), and certainly no Star Trek VII. But that didn't happen, and I'm inclined to think that Paramount wouldn't have let it happen. Trek is too valuable to them, and I've detected this mysterious pattern, that when the chips are down, Paramount will okay the loathed last resort of actual quality as a desperate final gamble (witness Star Trek II, the third season of TNG and the second season of DS9). The latter two upswings were engineered by Rick Berman and I think it demonstrates the essential soundness of the "Stay Hungry" doctrine. Another thing it demonstrates is how much good Berman can accomplish when he actually cares and acts as a strong, sure hand at the controls. No one is foolish enough to accuse Roddenberry of not caring about TNG, but, for whatever reasons you want to believe, the fight was no longer in him and the show suffered for it, and all then good intentions in the world weren't going to save it. Berman, on the other hand, while not the visionary that Roddenberry was, was a superb micro-manager, and that cool business sense and ruthless efficiency was just what the series needed at that point. Roddenberry had given them the inspiration, now it was up to Berman to actually execute it properly. He gave the series a sense of stability that was necessary for TNG to grow and mature logically. He got the show on an even-keel, and when the former war-zone of the writing pool was settled down and structured properly, the series began to sing. Admittedly, Berman was too efficient in that he erected a script factory that churned out episodes so quick and dirty, that eventually new infusions of quality and creativity didn't need to be added at all. In essence, the script shop became a perpetual motion machine that was turning out scripts long, long after the gas had run out. The problem was that Berman was so good at his job and so efficient at making TNG popular that it quickly became so successful that he didn't need to care anymore. And his agent Michael Piller was so good at *his* job, he was promoted out of the script pool and made an executive producer and Vice-Trek-God in a exquisite demonstration of the Peter Principle. As to the "Star Trek Vision", there are some parts of it that Berman still struggles with, as well as facets that he has a firm control of. Berman does, for example, understand that for better or worse (mostly worse) crass moralizing is as much apart of Trek as anything, and didactic speeches its most pronounced, and sometimes most nostalgic, avatar. One of the things Berman is often accused of is selling out the Bright Future that Roddenberry envisioned, populating it instead with corrupt admirals, shifty alliances, and imperfect governments, in lieu of the pristine black and white. I would respond that Berman actually understands the problem of human nature as it runs through Trek quite well, and by showing people struggle with themselves, he actually validates the bright future by making it seem more well-earned. Because he does have a firm grip on the nobel, if flawed, nature of humanity and how that drives the essence of the show, Berman's single biggest mistake in the show, is especially ironic. To put it simply, Berman doesn't understand science-fiction, which is a crying shame. In specific, he has completely missed one of its greatest strengths as it pertains to the very themes that make Star Trek so strong. Berman has demonstrated the rookie misconception that science-fiction is just about mechanics and theories and that's all. In an all too common mistake for Trek villains, Berman forgot the human equation. At its best, science-fiction is about ideas, and about how those postulates effect the human mind, body, and soul. It is all about fresh perspectives on the oldest questions facing man. Ideally science-fiction uncovers more about the human spirit than any other thing, even when describing the first meeting with the most alien race ever encountered. Berman, and the writers he has hired, often confuse the hardware with the soul, mistaking the trappings for the essence. That is not to say that TNG hasn't fully explored the revelatory aspects of SF to good effect on several notable occasions, but much of the time, Berman seems to have fostered an atmosphere where science-fiction is seen as an obstacle for "human" stories, instead of one of the best vehicles yet devised for furnishing them. The result of this attitude was a series that often equated science-fiction with Technobabble Threats, and drama with soap opera strum-and-drang. In essence, the same mistake that zillions of hack writers made in pulp science-fiction magazines sixty years ago. This is were the Roddenberry Legacy diverges from Berman. Roddenberry for all his flaws in storytelling technique, understood the value of the science-fiction paradigm for viewing mankind and its current condition. He understood it in his marrow, and that concept is what he really brought to television in 1966, and again in 1987, and thus the style, not the substance, of Roddenberry's creation is what Rick Berman's Star Trek is lacking. But, I have come here not to bury Rick Berman, but to praise him (Kind of hard to tell. I didn't intend that to be the case. Honest). Rick Berman steered the franchise through the loss of its principle creator, and made it come out the other end stronger than it had been before. He set up a system that told a lot of great stories (even telling a few himself- "Brothers" was superb), and made TNG and Trek more prosperous, respectable, and popular than it ever had been before. And while I and others may disagree with some of his choices and priorities over the years, let us remember that as Film Studio Company Men go, we could have gotten a lot worse. Slow and steady (and efficient) does, indeed, sometimes win the race. So, let us raise our glasses to Rick Berman. The Great Carpenter Ant Of The Galaxy. * OLX 2.1 TD * So dull and pointless, you'd swear it was a IMHO review. ========================================================================== Origin: Spock's Adventure! BBS - Computer Shopper's BBS of the Month Cincinnati, OH (513) 779-9717 FidoNet 1:108/175 TrekNet 87/6001:1839 ========================================================================== Xref: sloth rec.arts.startrek.reviews:79 rec.arts.startrek.current:9795 Path: sloth!tesuque.cs.sandia.gov!lynx.unm.edu!umn.edu!zip.eecs.umich.edu!newsxfer.itd.umich.edu!gatech!news-feed-1.peachnet.edu!news.duke.edu!eff!news.kei.com!travelers.mail.cornell.edu!newsstand.cit.cornell.edu!NewsWatcher!user From: TED.BRENGLE@spock.org (TED BRENGLE) Newsgroups: rec.arts.startrek.reviews,rec.arts.startrek.current Subject: TNG Series Review: IMHO End-of-TNG Blowout (3 of 3) Followup-To: rec.arts.startrek.current Date: Thu, 30 Jun 1994 14:14:18 -0400 Organization: Cornell University Lines: 283 Sender: mss1@cornell.edu (Verified) Approved: mss1@cornell.edu Message-ID: Reply-To: TED.BRENGLE@spock.org (TED BRENGLE) NNTP-Posting-Host: uncle-mikey.cit.cornell.edu And now for something completely different... The last seven years have certainly piled up an impressive list of the good, odd, and profane. These are the moments which make TNG was it is: A pop culture relic. To celebrate these moments, people, and events, I present the following awards. All awards, categories, nominees, and winners are voted on solely by me, so if you're expecting a fair fight, forget about it. Arguments are encouraged. So without further ado... ****The First Ever IMHO Awards**** THE MIRI MEMORIAL "NO BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!" AWARD for special distinction in technobabble: "Realm of Fear" THE "WHEEL OF MORALITY TURN, TURN, TURN" AWARD for most ridiculously overblown and tacked on mini-moral: "Imaginary Friend" THE "TROUBLE WITH TRIBBLES" AWARD for funniest episode: "Deja Q" THE "SPOCK'S BRAIN" AWARD for most agonizingly bad *attempt* at a funny episode: "Rascals." Second runner-ups: "Fistful of Datas," and "Q-Pid." THE BRONZED BABEL FISH to "Darmok", for the best episode about communication. THE FAULTY UNIVERSAL TRANSLATOR, "HAILING FREQUENCIES CLOSED" AWARD to "Loud As A Whisper" for the worst episode about communication. THE "HIGH SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL" AWARD for smarmiest, most ridiculously adolescent attitude toward sex: "Justice." Second runner-up: "Sub Rosa." Third runner-up: "The Naked Now." THE TIM BURTON AWARD for most overrated episode: "I, Borg" THE "WEEKLY WORLD NEWS" AVENGER BADGE for best episode based on tabloid headlines: "First Contact." THE GERALDO'S SWEATSHOP AWARD for worst episode based on tabloid headlines: "Schisms". THE "TIME AND AGAIN" AWARD to "Time Squared" (which did the story first) and "Cause and Effect" (which did the same story right), perfectly epitomizing the very spirit of the time-loop, keep-trying-until-we get-it-right tales they were telling. THE ROMULAN SPY DECODER RING to Tasia Valenza ("Coming Of Age"), Henry Darrow ("Conspiracy"), Rocco Sisto ("Sarek"), and Robin Curtis ("Gambit I and II") for worst vulcan performances in the whole of Trek history. THE DARK LORD OF THE SITH GOLD-PLATED DEATH MASK for best villain: Andreas Katsulas as Tomalak. THE RIDDLER/KING TUT AWARD for lamest villain: Denise Crosby as Sela. THE SQUIRE OF GOTHOS MIRROR AWARD (and complimentary dress uniform) to John de Lancie and Q for best omnipotent being, and also THE HARCORT FENTON MUDD PRIZE for best re-occurring character. THE "ONE-WAY, TOURIST CLASS TICKET TO HELL" AWARD for worst re-occurring character: Vash. THE JAYE DAVIDSON SPECIAL SERVICE MEDALLION to Spot the cat. THE "UNTOUCHED BY HUMAN HANDS" AUTHENTICITY CERTIFICATE for most cliches and plot devices piled up in one hour: "Imaginary Friend" THE LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD for biggest fall from Greatness: The Borg ("Best of Both Worlds" to "I, Borg" to "Descent I and II"). THE SHELLY LONG/McLANE STEVENSON SCHOOL OF CAREER MANAGEMENT DIPLOMA to Denise Crosby and Michelle Forbes. Now accepting donations at.... THE CLIFF-DIVER SPECIAL ACHIEVEMENT BADGE (with matching frayed bungee cord) for worst Cliff-Hanger resolution: "Descent II". THE INDY JONES FEDORA PRIZE for best cliffhanger and resolution : "Best of Both Worlds". THE ETHER SOAKED PILLOW to "Shades of Gray" for single laziest Trek Script. THE "HEADIN' OUT TO EDEN" AWARD to "Justice" for most embarrassing instance of hedonistic, happenin' individuals. THE UHURA/SULU MEMORIAL "MOST UNREALIZED POTENTIAL CERTIFICATE" to William Riker. THE "SOUND AND FURY SIGNIFYING NOTHING" AWARD to Guinan for best implementation of futile mysteriousness. THE BOBBY EWING, ZINC SHOWERHEAD for biggest cop-out ending: "Eye of the Beholder's" "Gee, what a funky dream!" conclusion. THE GOLDEN HANKY to "Unification I" for Sarek's deathbed scene. The series most touching moment. THE "WHO'S ON FIRST" AWARD to Brent Spiner and "Brothers" for most impressive instance of an actor performing multiple parts. THE MARK HAMILL "HE'S NOT NICHOLSON, BUT HE DOES A GOOD JOKER, ANYWAY" AWARD to Matt Frewer, as best last minute stand-in for Robin Williams in "A Matter Of Time." THE ROGER MOORE "ARE YOU SURE CONNERY WON'T RETURN OUR CALLS?" AWARD to Joe Piscopo, for worst last minute stand-in for Jerry Lewis in "The Outrageous Okona." THE "AW, BUT I WAS GOING INTO TASHY'S STATION TO PICK-UP SOME POWER CONVERTERS!" AWARD for worst Wesley Crusher line: "Uh, well, there are some games I don't quite know all the rules to. Yet," from "Justice." THE LEO BUSCAGLIA/"SNUGGLEBUNNY" AWARD for best quickie, sixty minute TrekRomance: Troi and Worf, "Parallels" THE "WE NEED WARP SPEED IN THREE MINUTES OR WE'RE ALL DEAD!" AWARD for worst quickie, sixty minute TrekRomance: Troi and Wyatt Miller, "Haven". Second runner-ups: Troi and Aaron Conor, "Masterpiece Society", Riker and Beata, "Angel One", Picard and Vash, "Captain's Holiday" and "Q-Pid". Third runner-ups: Picard and Nella Darren, "Lessons", Bev and Ronin, "Sub Rosa", Picard and Jenice Manheim, "We'll Always Have Paris." THE "IN FOR THE LONG HAUL" AWARD for best extended Trek love affair: Troi and Worf. THE "BALL AND CHAIN" AWARD for worst extended Trek love affair: Bev and Picard. Second runner-up: Troi and Riker. THE "THONG BATHING SUIT FILLED WITH ICE CUBES" WHOA! HOT! NOT! AWARD for erotic scene slightly less arousing than listening to Data list synonymous for the word "viscous": The body-oiled slip an' slide silliness of "The Price". THE CORBOMITE MANEUVER FLIGHT BADGE to "The Defector" for slickest Captain's trick. THE "THEY'VE STILL GOT IT AFTER ALL THESE YEARS" AWARD for best TOS quest appearance: (In a squeaker) Leonard McCoy, "Encounter At Farpoint". Second runner-ups: Scotty, "Relics", and Sarek, "Sarek" and "Unification I". Just barely placing: Spock, "Unification II". THE "ENGAGE!" PRIZE for best Picard episode to "Tapestry." THE "EARL GRAY, TEPID" AWARD to "Bloodlines" for worst Picard episode. THE "LOOKIN' LIKE A STARSHIP CAPTAIN!" AWARD for best Riker episode to "Future Imperfect." THE "VEEP IN SPACE" AWARD for worst Riker episode to "The Icarus Factor." ("Shades of Gray" was disqualified) THE "FEEL THIS!" AWARD for best Deanna Troi episode to "Face of the Enemy." THE "WHO LET THIS LOON ON THE BRIDGE?" AWARD for worst Deanna Troi episode to "The Child." THE "WARP 9.999999+" AWARD for best Geordi Laforge Episode to "Booby Trap." THE "STUCK IN A DIAGNOSTIC CYCLE. AGAIN" Award for worst Geordi LaForge episode to "Identity Crisis." THE "MAKE MY DAY" AWARD for best Worf episode: "Reunion." THE GOLDEN WORF-THE-SAP STATUETTE (This lovely sculpted rendering, hand-made by the artists at the Franklin Mint, brings to life the thrilling moment when Worf missed a Ferengi with a hand phaser at point-blank range) for worst Worf episode: "New Ground." THE "DR. CRUSHER: MEDICINE WOMAN!" AWARD for best Bev episode: "Remember Me." THE "SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING" AWARD for worst Bev episode: "Sub Rosa." THE "YOU CAN'T PICK YOUR RELATIVES" AWARD to Alexander Rozhenko for Trek family member best suited for a long, unprotected jaunt in the icy void of space. THE "CLIFF CLAVEN MAILBAG", awarded to extras who break-out into the Major League: Miles O'Brien. (Sent back to the minors: Sonya Gomez, Lt. Commander Argyle, Ensign Mendon, Lian T'Su, Orfil Solis.) THE "ONE MOTHER OF A TAU FACTOR" PURPLE HEART for anyone who is still reading this damn thing. You certainly deserve something... If you are indeed sticking with us, take heart. The light at the end of the tunnel is at hand. ********** ***The Future*** "They're going to shoot it like the series -very fast, very cheap, crank it out and make $100 million. "For the most part, they're making canned goods. And you make products as cheaply as you can to make the greatest profit you can." -Brent Spiner, on STVII:TNG:TMP:G (Indianapolis News, 2-16-94) "We've done better episodes. Well, let me put it this way-- we haven't done many worse episodes." -Marina Sirtis, when asked about her impression of the screenplay for the TNG feature film (New York Creation Convention, 2-19-94) As most of you already know, the bleedin' thing is already done. Principle photography was finished a week or two ago, and all that's left is the post work and for ILM to earn its paycheck. A lot of you, like me, have access to the screenplay, (or access to someone who has access to it) and know pretty much what's going to happen on November 25th. Of course, a lot of it could turn out to be wrong, since screenplays have a tendency to evolve over the course of shooting (Lando Calrissian was scripted to die at the end of "Return of the Jedi", and the first Star Trek movie was basically made up as they went along), although all the circumstantial evidence (snippets of footage being shot that were show on "Entertainment Tonight", comments by cast and crew in interviews, production sketches shown on the TNG TV retrospective a few weeks ago) clearly demonstrates that massive tracks of the bootleg script are in play here, unless someone wants to make the argument that this *whole damn thing* is a massive disinformation campaign. Any takers? I certainly hope that there are, because, as anyone who's seen the script can attest to, we are all in *big* trouble if this makes it on the screen. You people think *I'm* nasty. What until Ebert and Siskel gets a hold of this little joy-ride. There is a terrifying movie-making axiom that bad movies have often been made from good scripts, but no good movie has ever been made from a bad script. Despite this gloom, I wish to pierce it with the following rationalizations, mostly so people can laugh at me when I fall on my face. I'm generous that way. My first point is that it won't be worse than Star Trek V. This in itself is cause for celebration. This script is bad, but it isn't *that* bad. The second point is that this movie cannot possibly hurt Trek in the long-run, and that Paramount has engineered it specifically to insure that even if it tanks at the box office, it will still turn a profit. They did this by budgeting the film at a scant $25 million. As everybody knows, a movie has to gross twice what it cost to make before it begins to turn a profit, thus TNG's magic number will be $50 million. Or roughly the gross of Star Trek V, widely regarded as the Official-Trek-Movie-Kobayashi-Maru-Worst-Case-Scenario. Thus, the TNG flick would have to bomb *worse* than Star Trek V before Paramount's investment is even endangered, and that ain't gonna' happen. Because suckers like you and me are going to go. Maybe just once, but remember, we are legion, and we all only have to go once to push a movie this cheap into the black. There will be more Star Trek movies, no matter how "disappointing" this film does. My third point is that the next movie will be number eight (or number two, depending on how deep the delusions run), and either way it will be even numbered. Actually, I've always thought the whole even-number-Trek-movie thing was a little more species than the number forty-two being the ultimate answer to life the universe (I *liked* STIII. Considerably move than number six when we get right down to it), but I am grasping at straws here. At any rate, even if (i.e. when) STVII:TNG:TMP:G is reveled as a major mess, it will be a familiar situation, echoing how wonderfully the original series arrived to the silver screen. Heck. It might even be nostalgic. Well, maybe not. ********** Well, gee, would you look at the time... The refreshments have long since dried up, the carriages have long since turned back into pumpkins, and even the Kennedys have left for home. I hope I haven't kept you. Look, I still have to lock up, so let me walk you to the door. Keep you shades handy. It's the dawn of a new day. It might take a minute to adjust to it. People have been talking for months about this show dying, and I can barely understand it. It's not dead. It *can't* die. As we have learned many times before, Paramount is yet to find the silver bullet that can kill Star Trek. And believe me, they've tried. And no show is anywhere near dead when a new adventure is a guaranteed six months away, and the sequel to that is due eighteen moths later (although if you want to look at the glass half-empty, even if the film series goes like gang-busters, the sum of all future TNG films may total half a season in regards to hours produced). People have to learn that Trek is now a bit more clockwork and predictable than Newtonian planetary motion. And not nearly as slow. Or graceful. What with movies and new series, and all of these tying into the whole Trek gestalt, we are still very much in the middle of this. The final word on TNG won't be written for decades. "So why the hell have you been yammering for the last eighty hours?!" I hear you screaming. Beats me. I never said I had all the answers. Just remember, the human adventure is just beginning. And let's be careful out there. ****************************************************************** If I were to list all the people I need to thank, I would be here considerably longer, and believe me, none of us want that, so I'll just leave it maddening vague. I have to say, though, that, as maudlin and cliched as it sounds, it was your support that keeps fine nature programs like these on the air. I have no tote bags to give away, so all I can do is say that I have valued greatly and sincerely every bit of feedback I have received over the last year, from compliments, to constructive criticism, to well-argued disagreements, to barely coherent ad hominem attacks (those were my favorite). Your input, interest, and graciousness were what made these weird little ("little?") things both possible and pleasurable, and hopefully more interesting and valuable. Thank you. While I, and lots of other people will now pack our bags and move over to DS9 full-time, for some people, this is it for a while, simply because TNG was, for them, IT, and everything else is a poor substitute. "I can't get into DS9. Oh, it's a good enough show, I guess, but the characters are dull and the stories don't interest me." In other words, just what TOS diehards said about TNG all those years ago. And what DS9 fans will say about "Voyager." Trek moves on and on, with Paramount always behind it, to shove it into the future. Sometimes with a stick. Yes, TNG is gone. And in six years DS9 will end, and six years after that "Voyager" will end, and six years after that, "Star Fleet Academy," and six years after that, "Star Fleet Janitor-THE SERIES!", and six years after that... The King is dead. Long live the King! -Ted Brengle (Resident TNG Cynic) - On Sabbatical - (c) Copyright 1994, Ted Brengle (IMHO Inc.) * OLX 2.1 TD * So dull and pointless, you'd swear it was a IMHO review. ========================================================================== Origin: Spock's Adventure! BBS - Computer Shopper's BBS of the Month Cincinnati, OH (513) 779-9717 FidoNet 1:108/175 TrekNet 87/6001:1839 ==========================================================================