Subject: FW: automobiles (fwd)

From: "Vince Mora" <synth@kitsune>
Date: Fri, 30 May 1997 11:38:21 -0600 (MDT)

Forwarded message:
>From [email-masked] Wed May 28 07:52:19 1997
Errors-To: <[email-masked]>
Message-Id: <[email-masked]>
X-Sender: [email-masked]
X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Light Version 3.0.1 (32)
Date: Wed, 28 May 1997 08:51:47 -0400
From: Pat Flanagan <[email-masked]>
Subject: FW: automobiles
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"

Many people can be categorized by the type of pet they own.  For
others, it's their car.  Here's what your automobile might be saying
about you:

Acura Integra:  "I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars"

Acura Legend:  "I'm too bland for German cars"

Acura NSX:  "I'm impotent"

Audi 90:  "I enjoy putting out engine fires"

Buick Park Avenue:  "I'm older than 34 of the 50 states"

Cadillac Eldorado:  "I'm a very good Mary Kay salesman"

Cadillac Seville:  "I'm a pimp"

Chevrolet Camaro (or S-10 Truck):  "I enjoy beating the hell out of people"

Chevrolet Chevette:  "I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I
own a 'Vette"

Chevrolet Corvette:  "I'm in a mid-life crisis"

Chevrolet El Camino:  "I'm leading a militia to overthrow the government"

Chrysler Cordoba:  "I dig the rich Corinthian leather"

Datsun 280Z:  "I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well"

Dodge Dart:  "I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower"

Dodge Daytona:  "I delivered pizza for four years to get  this car"

Ferrari Testarossa:  "I've been known to prematurely ejaculate"

Ford Fairmont:  (See Dodge Dart)

Ford Mustang:  "I slow down to 85 mph in school zones"

Ford Crown Victoria:  "I enjoy having people slow to 55 mph and change
lanes when I pull up behind them"

Geo Storm:  "I will start the 11th grade in the fall"

Geo Tracker:  "I will start the 12th grade in the fall"

Honda del Sol:  "l've always said, half a convertible is better than
no convertible at all"

Honda Civic:  "I've just graduated and have no credit"

Honda Accord:  "I lack any originality and am basically a lemming"

Infiniti Q45:  "I'm a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending"

Isuzu Impulse:  "I don't give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports"

Jaguar XJ6:  "I'm so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop
280 days a year"

Kia Sephia:  "I learned nothing from the failure of the Daihatsu Corporation"

Lamborghini Countach:  "I only have one testicle"

Lincoln Town Car:  "I live for bingo and covered dish suppers"

Mercury Grand Marquis:  (See above)

Mercedes 500SL:  "I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph"

Mercedes 560SEL:  "I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole"

Mazda Miata:  "I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler"

MGB:  "I'm dating a mechanic"

Mitsubishi Diamante:  "I don't know what it means either"

Nissan 300ZX:  "I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings"

Oldsmobile Cutlass:  "I just stole this car and I'm going to make a
fortune off the parts"

Peugeot 505 Diesel:  "I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List"

Plymouth Neon:  "I love doing the Macarena"

Pontiac Trans AM:  "I have a switchblade in my sock"

Porsche 911 Turbo:  "I have a three inch ..."

Porsche 944:  "I am dating big haired women who would otherwise be
inaccessible to me"

Rolls Royce Silver Shadow:  "I think Pat Buchanan is a tad bit too liberal"

Saturn SC2:  (See Honda Civic)

Subaru Legacy:  "I've always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior
than Isuzu"

Toyota Camry:  "I'm still in the closet"

Volkswagen Beetle:  "I still watch Partridge Family reruns"

Volkswagen Cabriolet:  "I'm out of the closet"

Volkswagen Microbus:  "Man, I'm tripping right now"

Volvo 740 Wagon:  "I'm frightened of my wife"

------------------------- End Original -------------------------